Wednesday, March 21, 2012

How to potty train two toddlers at the same time

Tip #1:    do not attempt to do this.

Tip#2:     if you ignore Tip#1  go directly to the store and buy lots of wine

In January I decided it was once again time to potty train my son.  I say "once again" because we have had numerous failed attempts.  But this time I figured he was actually ready so decided to give it another go.  I really wasn't planning to train both kids at once but they do everything together so train one, train both.

For the record, I do not advise this.

Should you choose to do it this way you may find men in white coats carting you out of your front door with your arms strapped to your sides.

On the plus side, the quiet time in the padded room may come as a welcome relief.

There are many stories I could tell about this experience, but frankly I'm not sure if I'm ready. Some memories are still too raw, and there are some things I'm not sure I want to remember.

I'm not sure that I want to remember how many days my daughter refused to wear a diaper yet refused to go in the potty. The amount of messes I cleaned up....did you know children pee about 20 times a day?

I think I would prefer to not remember the bathroom disasters as my children attempted to clean out their potty chairs. Apparently one must pour buckets of water over the toilet, on the floor, then use one half roll of toilet paper to attempt to wipe it up, but when the toilet paper turns into a soggy mess you just leave the room.

Speaking of cleaning toilets...I choose to not dwell on the memory of finding my daughter cleaning out her potty with my toothbrush.

I also choose to believe that was the first time it had ever happened.

I could tell you about my kids saying "look mommy, we are washing our cars!"  Then me explaining to my kids that "we do not 'wash' our matchbox cars in the pee in the potty."

I would like to forget about finding my children dipping their crackers into the pee in their potty...and eating them.  Don't really want to remember that one.

I would rather not remember the embarrassment of my children asking strangers at the store "do you go potty in your underwear???"

I would like to shopping with two toddlers that are potty training.  I believe I spent more time cleaning up puddles and changing wet clothes than actually shopping.

I would like to forget...having your kids fall asleep in the car and having to make the choice of letting them sleep knowing they will flood their car seat, or waking them so that you do not have to wash the car seat covers yet again.

I would rather forget having our Valentine's dinner interrupted numerous times by taking a child to the toilet. Actually that would apply to all the meals we have had since January 24th.

I would rather forget the amount of treats I have let my children consume all in the spirit of pure bribery

I would like to forget the amount of times I have had to cheer enthusiastically for that 1/2 teaspoon of pee in the potty

Or the dorky smiles I have had to paste on my face as I say "congratulations on your cacca (poop), yes that is a big one......yes, that does look like a caterpillar......yes, I am impressed that you can make a caterpillar cacca"     ?????          I do not remember a single parenting book that warned you that you would have to compliment the appearance/shape of your child's poop.

Yes, there are many stories I could share about the past 57 days but I think I will just try to forget all that and instead be glad that we have arrived at the stage of only a few accidents a day.

yes, having identical potty chairs does help!

'til next time...


  1. M - It absolutely WAS the first time she ever used your toothbrush to clean the potty!

  2. Well, at least you have fantastic blackmail material for when they grow up.

    1. Good point M.W., I will be sure to save this for future years!


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