2. Pick the steepest part of your yard as the new location spot.
3. Make sure new location for shed is in the same spot you just stacked your firewood.
4. Re-locate and re-stack part woodpile.
5. Doubt that keeping the old shed is a good plan after all, price out the cost of a new shed.
6. Ensure that new location is squarely on top of largest underground rock on your property.
7. Begin digging footers for foundation, spend most of that time breaking up rock.
8. Notice that your recently stacked woodpile is still in the way.
9. Remove and re-stack part of woodpile.
10. Doubt that keeping the old shed is a good plan after all, price out the cost of a new shed.
11. Order concrete, mortar and block for foundation.
12. Drive to Northern Virginia to pick up favorite concrete mixer.
13. Have pallets of concrete, mortar and block delivered.
14. Layout string lines for footers.
15. Build forms for footers.
16. Mix concrete for footers.
17. Pour footers.
18. Let concrete footers set up.
19. Relocate part of the woodpile....just out of habit by now.
20. Doubt that keeping the old shed is a good plan after all, price out the cost of a new shed.
21. Layout string lines for block wall.
22. Find happy medium between building a foundation that is square and a foundation that will fit old shed.
23. Begin mixing mortar and laying block.
24. Use all the mountains of fill material you have from your house project.
25. Realize you will still need more fill material.
26. Doubt that keeping the old shed is a good plan after all, price out the cost of a new shed.
27. Realize that your woodpile is still in the way. Reluctant to move the woodpile yet again, decide to build a wood rack behind new foundation.
28. Recruit, a.k.a bribe, kids to help move logs. Again.
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| like father, like daughter |
29. Pause to admire new wood rack.
30. Spend time considering how much wood you have left over.
31. Realize that you will have to tear off portion of shed that currently houses all of your worldly possessions. This will involve squeezing all of these boxes into an already packed cellar.
32. Doubt that keeping the old shed is a good plan after all, price out the cost of a new shed.
33. Begin dismantling side room on the shed. Continuing a trend previously noticed on the house project, this will involve removing 8 nails and 49 screws from every square foot.
34. Use sledge hammer to work out some frustration and also break up concrete pad in storage room.
35. Use broken concrete pad for additional fill material.
36. Realize you still do not have enough fill material.
37. Doubt that keeping the old shed is a good plan after all, price out the cost of a new shed.
38. Order 4 tons of gravel for fill material.
39. Have it rain the night before ensuring that the dump truck cannot back up to the foundation area.
40. Cart 4 tons of gravel by wheel barrow load to fill foundation.
41. Doubt that keeping the old shed is a good plan after all, price out the cost of a new shed.
42. Order 4 more tons of concrete for the pad.
43. Pour concrete pad by the simple process of opening two 60 pound bags of concrete mix, lift, pour into mixer, add water, mix, pour onto ground, add water to rinse mixer out, spread concrete out evenly.
44-140. Repeat 96 times.
141. Make your mark in wet concrete.
142. Continue dismantling the storage room off of the shed.
143. Realize that the trim for your entire house is stored in the shed and cannot sit outdoors.
144. Borrow a trailer to hold said trim.
145. Realize trim will not fit into trailer without removing all nails enabling said trim to be stacked neatly and compactly.
146. Doubt that keeping the old shed is a good plan after all, price out the cost of a new shed.
147. Spend entire day removing nails from trim, in order to store trim in trailer, in order to move shed.
148. Spend an additional day removing nails from said trim in order to store trim in trailer, in order to move shed.
149. Spend one last day removing nails from said trim in order to store trim in trailer, in order to move shed.
150. Begin bracing the shed for moving.
151. Beg, bribe and plead for friends and family to help you move the shed.
152. Send out meal options and beer lists in an attempt to entice family members to show up for moving day.
153. Breath a huge sigh of relief when they actually show up.
154. Lift the shed up, using a jack, enough to fix fence posts under the edge.
155. Begin moving the shed by pulling it forward with the help of a truck.
156. Immediately catch the back wall of the shed on a root, causing the back wall to pull loose from rest of building.
157. Doubt that keeping the old shed is a good plan after all...but it is probably too late to buy a new shed.
158. Halt all movement to reattach back wall and secure.
159. Begin forward movement of shed. Shed will now be moved using only muscle power and will be rolled downhill and at an angle toward the concrete pad.
160. Move shed a couple feet, stop.
161. Discuss plan for next few feet.
162. Re-adjust fence posts, discuss.
163. Move shed a couple feet, stop.
164. Discuss plan for next few feet.
165. Re-adjust fence posts, discuss.
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| Happy to see the workers all wearing their shed moving uniform. |
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| a small but mighty helper! |
953. Use a car jack and a piece of 6x6, braced against a tree, to straighten back corner of shed.
954. Once shed is moved immediately plant a garden where the shed was located. This will hopefully erase all memories of the shed being in this location.
955. Now that the shed is on the concrete slab resume restoration project.
956. Jack up shed on each side to replace rotten base plates.
957. Attach shed to slab with anchor bolts.
958. Decide you will want a front porch on the shed.
959. Dig out area for front porch.
960. Build forms.
961. Buy more concrete.
962. Pour slab for front porch.
963. Set anchors for posts for future front porch.
964. Begin to frame in the front opening for the old, absolutely-not-square french doors we took from the front of the house.
965. Doubt that keeping the old shed was a good plan after all but no choice but to push forward.
966. Using siding from the section of the shed we removed, finish closing in the front of the shed.
967. Install french doors.
968. Set posts for front porch.
969. Build framing for roof for front porch.
970. Narrow paint colors for shed down to 64 options.
971. Decide not to even count trim color options.
972. Ensure that front porch roof-line meets existing-out-of-square-really-old-roof-line.
973. Narrow paint colors for shed down to 50 options.
974. Narrow trim color options down to double digits.
975. Remove shingles from sections of existing roof.
976. Narrow paint colors for shed down to 25 options.
977. Narrow trim color options down to...still too many.
978. Replace rotten portions of roof.
979. Replace sections of the rotten rafters.
980. Narrow paint colors for shed down to 5 options.
981. Narrow trim color options down to 10 options.
982. Install soffit boards with ventilation grills.
983. Finally pick paint color for shed.
984. Decide on trim color for shed just in time to begin painting.
985. Paint fascia boards and install.
986. Try to locate drip edge that will coordinate.
987. Fail to locate coordinating drip edge.
988. Find spray paint that coordinates with trim color.
989. Spray paint drip edge and install.
990. Install shingles on porch roof and repair existing shed roof.
991. Concerned that the project may be nearing completion, decide that the shed needs a window.
993. Decide that you cannot have a proper shed without electricity.
994. Begin digging trench to run utilities.
996. Run electric and water lines.
997. Install water spigot for future watering needs.
998. Fill in trench.
999. Plant grass seed over trench.
1000. Decide to wait till later to install beer fridge and a/c.
From this...
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| Shed before relocation |
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| Shed after relocation |
1001. Decide that it is time to move on to the next project.
'til next time...
This is hilarious, Melanie! Love the way you documented the entire process
ReplyDeleteSSSSSOOOOOOOOO many comments, probably none appropriate regarding the sanity of your husband and/or his wife's complicity, not to mention child labor laws. But, otherwise, looks like a lot of fun was had by all! Seriously, love the shed moving uniforms.
ReplyDeleteOh my. It looks amazing, but the step-by-step narrative was the best. You should invite your uncle for the next project. I think his passport has expired, so he couldn’t escape, and might even enjoy it. In that jolly little Campbell way they have, you know. Onward, upward, Excelsior!
ReplyDelete